


Unusual Christmas Traditions

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Food, Multi, Pranking Karkat, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 01:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20806418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Karkat doesn't know much about Christmas, and what John decides to spin around seems sketchy. Unfortunately all the other humans he knows are either wanting to play along, or are just as stupid. Well, except for one.





	Unusual Christmas Traditions

**Author's Note:**

> From a request on Tumblr. It's not too early to celebrate Christmas, is it?

Karkat frowned, watching John put up a whole-ass God damn tree into their apartment. This seemed absolutely ridiculous to Karkat though, and he scrunched his face into a suspicious expression. His seat, who’s name was Dave, shifted Karkat on his lap a little, raising an eyebrow.

“What’s wrong? You look like John just broke a lamp.” 

John turned around with a questioning look, halting the process of getting a star up onto the top of the tree. 

“It’s just that” Karkat started, wiggling his way out of Dave’s lap so he could stand up and gesture dramatically to the tree “how the fuck can humans really have a whole holiday where for an entire month a tree is in their house decorated like it’s some kind of wriggling-day cake?! It’s fucking absurd, and I don’t mind, really I don’t but like... it just seems so bizarre! How does someone come up with this shit?”

John blinked, floating down a couple inches so he was on the floor. From what he’d gotten out of Karkat and other trolls, on Alternia there were only a select few holidays, and most of them were only celebrated by certain blood castes, which meant Karkat didn’t even celebrate any in his own culture. He seemed pretty on board with the Christmas tree thing, which John and Dave were very grateful for, but it made sense for him to wonder if they were just fucking with him. 

Which, come to think of it, would also be a pretty fun thing to do, wouldn’t it?

“Oh, human’s have LOADS of wacky celebrations, Karkat! The tree isn’t even the beginning” he started, walking over to Dave and leaning down to whisper a request for him to play along in his ear. 

“My personal favorite, is to have a huge bowl of pudding, and the loser of the... egg-nog drinking contest, has to sit in it and stew for a full half hour on Christmas eve. Oh! Or when we get icing and see how many chocolate chips we can put on each others faces with it before you either cant put anymore on there, the person eats them, or they fall off.”

Karkat’s draw dropped a little, shaking his head with an unbelieving expression. He turned around to look at Dave. 

“Is he being fucking serious?”

Dave nodded, not really paying them too much mind since he was about half-asleep. But he was a little more awake now since his source of heat was gone.   
“Yeah. No one’s allowed to put chocolate on my aviators.” 

The next day when they were all gathered at Kanaya and Rose’s house for their baby shower (their adoption would come through in just a few weeks, and everyone was very happy for them), Karkat decided to ask around. He walked around and found Rose talking to Roxy, and explained to both of them some of the things John had said about Christmas. 

Rose and Roxy gave each other a look. Rose was knowing, Roxy’s was confused, because she was just about as knowledgeable as Karkat. 

“Oh, yeah that’s all real” answered Rose, taking a sip of wine and going upstairs to try and find Kanaya. Karkat glanced at Roxy.

“Yeah, uh... I’m gonna believe Rose. All that sounds pretty fun, actually! Just as long as the nog’s not got anythin’ in it.”

Karkat sighed, and looked around again, this time finding Dirk and Jake, who seemed to have a nice time cuddling on the couch and talking to Jade on the floor. After working his way into their conversation about how none of them could stand the taste of fish after living off of it as a good bit of their diet for so long, Karkat brought up the absurd Christmas traditions again.

Unfortunately, that worked just about as well as playing basketball with a ball full of sand.

Jake and Jade said that they had no fucking clue about Christmas traditions, Dirk said that all seemed odd but not unbelievable, and with Karkat not being able to talk to Jane due to present opening happening soon after, he was left to believe everything John told him about Christmas. 

John swallowed a little nervously, scratching the back of his head. 

Jane looked absolutely dumbfounded, shaking her head. 

“Why on Earth do you want that many gallons of pudding?! You want a swimming pool filled with it? I mean I’ll do it, but just why, John?” 

“Uh...” John began, sticking his hands in his pockets. 

“I may have told my boyfriend that there’s an egg-nog drinking contest during Christmas even and the loser sits in the pudding bucket. I also said something about icing chocolate onto our faces?”

Jane frowned, and face-palmed.

“Go tell him the truth. We can still do it, but unless you tell him, I’m not making that much pudding for a lie. It’ll be tainted!”

John gave a sheepish smile and nodded. 

“Yes ma’am, I’ll tell him, but this will still be a very pudding-y Christmas if I have anything to do about it!”

Jane smiled and rolled her eyes. 

“I’m looking forward to it.”


End file.
